Reconnect with the Christmas Spirit
“It’s not that I’m lazy. If I believed it would make my family truly happy, I’d work nonstop on Christmas. It’s just that I’ve finally realized what’s important.”
Our bodies respond to the darkness with trepidation. Will the Sun return? Will things grow again? Will I grow again? Is there enough? Will we survive? Will we thrive?
Our minds ignore the body, telling ourselves we are silly for having such primal concerns.
Meanwhile commercials, stores, social media, and pop culture tell us to buy presents and decorations, prepare elaborate holiday meals, and plan epic celebrations. This is the Christmas Machine - the apparatus of commercialism and capitalism.
The fear held within our animal bodies is amplified by the stress of holiday shopping and festive-making.
The Christmas Machine is anxiety-producing and leads to feelings of overwhelm and dis-ease.
We forget what we really want for Christmas. We become so concerned about things, that we stop prioritizing feelings.
What we really want for Christmas is a feeling - something akin to joy, love, light, and hope.
I am re-reading my mother’s copy of Unplug the Christmas Machine by Jo Robinson and Jean Coppock Staeheli. It’s the original paperback from 1982. And, this blogpost is the first in a four-part series of lessons I learned from Unplug the Christmas Machine.
You see, the Christmas Machine has been around for a long time. Even in the 1947 version of Miracle on 34th Street, Alfred the Janitor says,
“There's a lot of bad 'isms' floatin' around this world, but one of the worst is commercialism. Make a buck, make a buck. Even in Brooklyn it's the same - don't care what Christmas stands for, just make a buck, make a buck.”
Many of us feel “responsible for transforming [our] family’s everyday lives into a beautiful, magical festival.” I do. And, I kind of love it.
Robinson & Staeheli write that “for many [people], this celebration is the consummate expression of their skill, not only in the craft of homemaking, but also in the art of loving.”
Exactly! Christmas is the time when I want to make all the pretty things, and share all the good love, and make everything feel magical and festive.
And then we get stressed out. Life is still happening. Meals need to be made, work has to be done, laundry piles up on the sofa, and the shops are crowded AF. There are only so many times we can listen to Mariah Carey.
When the stress of making everything perfect gets in the way of experiencing the feelings of joy and love, it is time to Unplug the Christmas Machine.
“When [people] have an accurate picture of all that they do at Christmas and then think about what’s really important…they want Christmas to be simpler,” write Robinson and Staeheli.
So - first order of business…
Get an Accurate Picture of What you Do At Christmas
In the book, Unplug the Christmas tree, there are a set of self-reflections to help you gain clarity on what you do, what you want to do, and who you do it with. *If you want the original reflections, buy the book. Below are my abbreviated versions.
1. “Lifestyle Inventory”
Write down your obligations:
How much do you work?
How many caretaking tasks are you responsible for?
What volunteer work are you involved in?
Are you taking any classes?
**How many hours of free time do you have in a week? And, how do you normally spend that time? Where will you find time for Christmas stuff?
2. “Examining the Work of Christmas”
Write down ALL the things you typically do around the holidays.
List all the ways you take responsibility for gifts:
making a list
crafting
shopping
wrapping
stocking stuffers
mailing…
List all the things you make:
cookies
cards
presents
decorations…
List all the decorating you do:
lights
getting a tree
decorating the tree
wreaths
figurines
pictures…
List the things you do for entertaining:
invitations
cleaning
cooking
decorating
hosting
planning…
**Now, reflect on how you felt while doing each task. Star the ones you enjoyed.
Next to the tasks you did not enjoy, write down why not. Did you feel rushed? Do you wish you had more help? Was it simply something you don’t like doing?
3. “Sharing Roles At Christmas”
Who takes responsibility for the Christmas work?
You?
Your partner?
Your children?
Do you split it equally?
Review your list of tasks and put a heart next to the ones you would like to delegate or ask for more help in.
4. Make a Christmas Spirit List
Reflect on past memories of Christmas. “what traditions, activities, and occasions were particularly pleasurable?”
If you knew you would be supported, how would you spend your time?
What would you do?
Where would you go?
Who would you spend time with ?
There are no right answers to these reflections. The goal is awareness.
What do you actually do at Christmas?
How much time do you have to give?
Who shares the work with you?
What truly brings you joy?
Next week: How to Simplify Christmas
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